I’m the kind of person who will buy a new journal (usually when I’m going through a challenging time), write in it once or twice, and misplace it. As a result, I have a whole bunch of journals with mostly blank pages. But, every time I try, I convince myself that it’s going to be different this time. Anyone else? Please tell me it’s not just me 🙂
I’m currently going through a big reorganize of all my stuff, or, the Jacob Marley-esque detritus of my years (A Christmas Carol Jacob Marley, not reggae Jacob Marley; it turns out, it’s harder to find gifs of the former), and a few days ago I came across a stack of old high school newspapers. One of them included a really hilarious, very self-deprecating, and slightly sad column in which I talked about how messy my room was at age 16. Not much has changed. But I loved reading my old writing, and maybe that’s what prompted me to start writing again.
When I started this blog, blogs functioned in more of a quiet, personal, “live journal” kind of way, before the march of instagram and sponsored content. I think one reason I have struggled to keep this space going is that I’m really unsure of my footing. Do I talk about personal things, and post personal photos, now that we know more about the data tracking and facial recognition that govern our online interactions? What should I share, and what should I keep private? Should I rant about my opinions in these scary, hate-filled political times, or tread cautiously lest they be used against me down the road? Growing up in the Internet era has been challenging, and I know we’re all learning together and making it up as we go along. I kind of just want a place to leave my thoughts. And I know I have taken comfort, hope, and inspiration from reading other people’s. So, I’m trying this again. I don’t know what form it will take. But the way to begin is just to begin.